Am I the only one under the impression that Paul Martin, Liberal Party of Canada leader and soon-to-be ex-Prime Minister of Canada (cross your fingers!) has a very hard time answering questions when confronted by journalists or other party leaders?

Have you noticed? He just never answers anything! It seems all he does is dodge the question and then try to blurt out some kind of shabby response that doesn’t even come close to what a proper response to what was asked should be. Indeed, apparently Mr. Dithers is back, and since the first poll after New Year’s Day showing the Conservatives in lead, unsure of himself and unconfident at best, he’s been acting kind of like someone who’s trying to go forward with his head facing backwards while at the same time trying to avoid all the ceiling tiles which coincidentally happen to fall directly on his head. Therefore, he can only go sideways, as his attitude and that of his party’s show. If I could dare to compare, I’d say that each day looks like it’s planned from the start to the end on Harper’s side, but on Martin’s, everything looks like it’s been jotted down hastily on the corner of the table that morning and then thrown randomly at the media without anybody double-checking or approving anything. Sheer improvisation, that is. And Paul Martin looks more and more tired and desperate as the time goes. Funny as hell.

Here’s a fresh example from our more-and-more-exciting-by-the-day current election campaign. When asked by a journalist about possible irregularities in the financing of Option Canada, a political organization in which a 4.8 million dollars subsidy mysteriously disappeared, whose president was closely linked to Paul Martin’s Liberals, and allegedly dedicated to help funding the “No” side in the 1995 referendum, and possibly the October 27th “love-in” unity rally in Montréal, Paul Martin stubbornly refused -and STILL refuses- to explain where the money actually went and instead started on a no-nonsense litany about “making sure the rules were followed” in his government. As an example of transparency and imputability, we’ve seen better.

The same kind of thing happened in the summer election campaign of June 2004. During the French debate before the election, which I remember watching, Bloc Québécois leader Gilles Duceppe asked a very unconfident and nervous Paul Martin a simple question on the whereabouts of the monies which were allegedly hoisted from the unemployment insurance fund. Mr. Martin then proceeded to reply by explaining what the insurance fund was all about, how it worked, what it did, that kind of thing. Rather pitiful, to say the least.

It’s like a freakin’ marathon! I swear, I could picture Paul Martin’s advisors in a press conference, and they’d be like:

- OK Paul, here comes a question from the CBC! ….Yay! Good dodging!

- OK now, brace yourself, here’s another from the Toronto Star… Way to dodge! Allright!

- Paul, here’s La Presse coming at you… WHOA! Tough one! And it was in French! At LEAST you didn’t answer anything! Attaboy!

- Last one Paul! It comes from the Vancouver Sun! Whatever you do, don’t answer anything! … Allright Paul, this one’s too hard, just say the conference is over … Great! WOW! You’re a hell-of-a dodger, Mr. Prime Minister!

*Sigh*. I know I shouldn’t be laughing at this, but I can’t help it! I know it’s pitiful and pathetic. People should have the right to get answers to their questions. Paul Martin has to answer to the electorate, and the media has to know what’s going on. That’s his duty as Prime Minister, in theory… but in practice, I still don’t think that thought has crossed his mind yet. Sad.

So now, all things considered, I wish the media understood the message Paul Martin has been trying to tell them. Is it really that hard? The guy won’t answer ANYTHING. So, dear media, when you cover his press conferences, stop writing as a screen caption: “Paul Martin answers questions from the press” and instead start writing “Paul Martin dodges questions from the press because he’s waaaayyyy above everybody and doesn’t care OR give a fuck about whatever you might think and therefore he’s just going to try and buy your friggin’ vote and by the way he believes you should just shut up”, which is, I think, a LOT more representative of the reality.

Don’t you see? He’s clearly above all that, he’s a Liberal after all, the leader of the “natural governing party” of Canada. Don’t you get it? It’s clear and self-evident that no one else will EVER do a better job, even if the Liberals are completely corrupt and used, and that’s why they feel they should stay in power for years on end. And don’t forget that if you don’t vote Liberal, then you are un-canadian and unfit to keep on living here. No need to apologize, you are a traitor of the worst kind to the entire nation and you should just pack up your things and go “back” to the U.S., even if you don’t come from there. It doesn’t matter to them anyway. A real, true Canadian *CANNOT* be anything else than a Liberal, come on!

Yeah, right… and I’m Martha Stewart.