OK, I’ll explain.

This month, I ordered two brand new Kenwood KDC-MP628 CD players off of eBay for me and my friend, from two different sellers. Both had them shipped through United Parcel Service (UPS). Now, I already didn’t quite "like" UPS. I knew from reading on the internet about disgruntled customers that they charged OUTRAGEOUS fees for shipping and brokerage over borders. But I had never experienced it myself until today.

I swear, UPS has got to be the most expensive carrier when it comes to shipping to Canada from the U.S. And they don’t even follow their own friggin’ rules. I’ll come back to that. The first CD player I ordered got here quickly, along with an $88.63 CDN dollar bill from UPS Brokerage of which roughly 30 bucks accounted for actual taxes (GST) charged by the Canadian government. The 58 remaining dollars were UPS’s "brokerage fees". Unreal. Couldn’t believe this.

When I got the package I called them right away.

I asked them how was it that I had to pay $88.63 in duties, taxes and especially brokerage fees for a 200-dollar item, which is MORE THAN A THIRD OF WHAT IT’S WORTH. I also asked them why they were by far the most expensive carrier when it comes to cross-border shipping. Finally, I pressed them on to explain why they charged $30 MORE in brokerage fees than in border duty itself?

The only thing the UPS customer service rep had to say was: "Those are fees UPS charges for a parcel’s customs clearance." I replied that since he worked for UPS, he could surely explain why they are the most expensive of all carriers, no? The guy just brainlessly stuck to his mantra. "Those are fees UPS charges for a parcel’s customs cleareance". Gee, tell me something I don’t know.

So I couldn’t get an appropriate answer from UPS on that. But I managed to verify with the guy that, as I already knew, if a package sent to me through the mail or through them ends up at the Canadian border with a declared value lower than $60 CDN, they just waive it through (basically) and don’t charge anything. Okay.

The thing is, I had already told the seller of the first CD player to enter a value lower than $40 U.S. on the customs slip. But he didn’t do it. He entered $200 U.S. So, in a way, maybe it wasn’t UPS’s fault that time. But I REALLY made sure the OTHER seller entered a value of $40 U.S. or lower. When the package got here last Friday, I took a quick look at the UPS customs slip to see that he had entered $38.00 U.S. as the package value. The guy did exactly what I asked him to.

Then how in the name of hell did I have to pay ANOTHER $40.28 CDN in GST and "UPS Brokerage fees"? This time, I had to pay roughly $6.00 CDN in GST, and $34.00 in fucking UPS brokerage fees. UPS can’t even get their damn stories straight! They told me that if the package value is below $60 CDN, they don’t charge anything and the government either. And this is what I had come to expect over time, I’ve been buying for a long time on the internet.

I really don’t understand why they charged me $40 CDN for that package and I’m sure as hell not going to call them and hear their little "Those are fees UPS charges you to customs-clear a parcel" mantra again.

Instead, I’ll just diss them here and vow to never be their customer again. That’s right. Never again, UPS. You don’t stick to your own rules, you overcharge horribly and you offer awful customer service.

Reminds me of their commercial motto: What can brown do for you?

It can sure as hell fuck my day up.